Slut Shaming

Hello class. For today’s lesson, we’ll be talking about people who are obsessed w/judgment of others, slut shaming in particular, and how you may as well wear a sign on your forehead that reads “I’m insecure” if you do so http://tcat.tc/2iaRM5g 
Since that particular article is about men who slut shame
 …for women who slut shame other women = internalized misogyny (also a form of generalized insecurity)

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-bejeezus-out-me/201406/whats-really-behind-slut-shaming 
If you constantly judge/gossip about others but DON’T specifically “slut shame” it’s no different. The thought pattern is one of desire to overcompensate in lieu of self worth, to mask ones own weakness. This stems from the same psychological root(s). This behavior is known as moral superiority and/or superiority complex 
“superiority complex rises from…repressed feelings of inferiority and lack of self-esteem”https://psychologenie.com/the-concept-of-superiority-complex-in-psychology
Once you become self aware, and truly honest with yourself, you CAN tackle your insecurity & curb the compulsion to judge others:http://thepositivitysolution.com/judging-others
But it is so much more than that. Many people believe that judging others is something you either do or don’t do in general; however, that is not the case. Sometimes individuals are generally open minded but particularly judgemental in specific situations, or in regard to particular individuals . 
When we respect ourselves, we’re more free and able to respect others: their personal limits, boundaries, etc.https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-respect-other-peoples-boundaries/
Maybe your judgments don’t manifest in the ways aforementioned? Have you ever written a script in your head of what you think someone else’s response to you should be? Have you ever felt upset (disappointed, frustrated, resentful, etc) because you asked someone to do something for/with you and they declined? Have you ever attempted to alter your perception, to include the possibility that it has nothing to do with them, and it’s actually about the fact that you’re not secure enough to accept an answer that you didn’t want to hear?? “Expectations are premeditated resentments.” J.A.Johnson-PhD 
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/cui-bono/201802/the-psychology-expectations%3Famp
Whether it’s conscious or not, when you do not respect others decisions of what to do with their own time/energy/feelings/bodies, when you treat them differently because you feel “upset” they didn’t do as YOU would have liked/imagined, it is an attempt to manipulate them to your whims in response to perceived rejection. This is unhealthy and self defeating behavior. 
How to gracefully deal with rejection:https://www.google.com/amp/s/lifehacker.com/how-to-gracefully-deal-with-rejection-1818702428/amp
 It is so much easier said than done, to triumph  over ones defensiveness & insecurities; we all have them, and we all need to constantly take self inventory to keep them (and our response to them) in check. It’s not an easy task, but  it is worth it tenfold, and will ultimately make you a much better person.  We all deserve happiness & inner peace. 

Why/how did you get into feminism & female dominance?

Good question. Let’s start with a few facts. This is the general definition of emotional abuse via economic control of a subject:

This is a statistical fact on cis/hetero women experiencing more emotional abuse and specifically financial control w/in their relationships, than other groups…

Not only do we (women) experience a general wage gap, getting paid less at our jobs for the same work as men, even when the woman has more formal education the man usually gets paid more. As preposterous as that is in itself, we (women) then also then earn even less after we’ve had children…

Additionally:Women have the need for more doctors appts with less healthcare coverage available to us in general (just as 1 example, Viagra is covered by insurance companies, while birth control pills are often not covered). Despite the proven dangerous side effects of injectable and oral birth control, which can cause a lifetime of complications and harm to women at a biological level, and despite the risks associated with tubal (surgery to get ones “tubes ties”) and other procedures the female gender remains deemed as the one responsible for preventing stds/pregnancy within our relationships more often than notLet’s compare:vasectomy is 50% less cost and danger. Vasectomy is a one time permanent pregnancy prevention technique. Vasectomy is an outpatient procedure which requires no time off work and has zero risks or side effects besides 48hrs of mild discomfort. Guess how many men refuse? Guess how many relationships exist where the woman is instead taking years worth of medicines, with time off work for monthly doctors appointments, accruing thousands & thousands in lost wages and copays ?? I challenge you to research statistical information on birth control usage within heterosexual relationships. Next fact: women have general need for more retail purchases than men such as feminine hygiene products, skin products, hair products, make up, styling tools, finger/toenail products, we need to buy bras & purses & “extras” which society doesn’t generally expect of men, in order to be socially accepted.
while we’re the gender earning less, EVERYTHING we need is also more expensive than the same retail version which is made for men: https://axthepinktax.com/
We are oppressed from birth & forced into positions of inferiority most of our lives, like these examples of -even our own government- economically abusing us via repression of reaching true economic potential and having bodily autonomy.
There are numerous laws men have made about what women should/shouldn’t and can/can’t  do with their own bodies. Not a single law has ever been proposed governing mens bodies. Think about that.
Women are deliberately kept very scarce in high level positions w/in companies, especially fields of Science and Government, and this not for lack of qualified applicants but a form of control over us.Crime rates against women are astronomically higher than crimes against men in general. I could go on & on with stark comparisons of how women are stripped of equal opportunities by the patriarchy. WOMEN ARE GENERALLY EMOTIONALLY STRONGER THAN MEN & HAVE HIGHER THRESHOLDS FOR VARIOUS DISCOMFORTS,  AND CAPACITY FOR INGENUITY, SECONDARY TO THE REASONS AFOREMENTIONED. This is why I celebrate Goddess worship (female supremacy/female dominance) as forms of reparations which men can offer the women in their lives

Vavi’s suggested reading

Vavi’s suggested reading

THE VALUE OF TIME:
https://foreverjobless.com/the-value-of-time/

As pornography has increased in availability, sex crimes have decreased: via Scientist Magazine® https://t.co/yU8eYjepvF

VanyaVixen Interview
PT.1  https://t.co/QJcqnu4mS4
Randomly inserted note
Want some of My attention? Make yourself known by fav/comment & RT posts on Twitter @VanyaVixen

Email Me blog questions, article suggestions, respectful constructive reviews of My work, suggestions for new clips…
VanyaVixen@gmail.com

10 Reasons Porn is Actually Good for You

http://www.puckermob.com/relationships/relax-prudes-10-rasons-pornography-is-actually-good-for-you

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/sex/8995815/Why-theres-no-such-thing-as-sex-addiction.html

http://www.bustle.com/articles/93025-how-to-share-your-sexual-fantasy-with-your-partner-because-you-even-can-let-porn-or

#CFS Article: Chronic Fatigue Syndrome via @EverydayHealth https://t.co/E5yvSC6wha (connected to attached screenshot) ***

http://thesexpose.com/vanya-vixen-talks-about-her-new-site-and-her-creativity/

https://m.soundcloud.com/nathan-daugherty/vanya-vixen-interview

BlockNoireBBW Vanya Vixen @VanyaVixen Interview http://t.co/GJhag07PnI via @blocknoirebbw

http://couplescorner.biz/interviews/vanya_vixen/

autonomy vs insecurity

Hello class. For today’s lesson, we’ll be talking about people who are obsessed w/judgment of others, slut shaming in particular, and how you may as well wear a sign on your forehead that reads “I’m insecure” if you do so http://tcat.tc/2iaRM5g 
Since that particular article is about men who slut shame
 …for women who slut shame other women = internalized misogyny (also a form of generalized insecurity)

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-bejeezus-out-me/201406/whats-really-behind-slut-shaming 
If you constantly judge/gossip about others but DON’T specifically “slut shame” it’s no different. The thought pattern is one of desire to overcompensate in lieu of self worth, to mask ones own weakness. This stems from the same psychological root(s). This behavior is known as moral superiority and/or superiority complex 
“superiority complex rises from…repressed feelings of inferiority and lack of self-esteem”https://psychologenie.com/the-concept-of-superiority-complex-in-psychology
Once you become self aware, and truly honest with yourself, you CAN tackle your insecurity & curb the compulsion to judge others:http://thepositivitysolution.com/judging-others
But it is so much more than that. Many people believe that judging others is something you either do or don’t do in general; however, that is not the case. Sometimes individuals are generally open minded but particularly judgemental in specific situations, or in regard to particular individuals . 
When we respect ourselves, we’re more free and able to respect others: their personal limits, boundaries, etc.https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-respect-other-peoples-boundaries/
Maybe your judgments don’t manifest in the ways aforementioned? Have you ever written a script in your head of what you think someone else’s response to you should be? Have you ever felt upset (disappointed, frustrated, resentful, etc) because you asked someone to do something for/with you and they declined? Have you ever attempted to alter your perception, to include the possibility that it has nothing to do with them, and it’s actually about the fact that you’re not secure enough to accept an answer that you didn’t want to hear?? “Expectations are premeditated resentments.” J.A.Johnson-PhD 
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/cui-bono/201802/the-psychology-expectations%3Famp
Whether it’s conscious or not, when you do not respect others decisions of what to do with their own time/energy/feelings/bodies, when you treat them differently because you feel “upset” they didn’t do as YOU would have liked/imagined, it is an attempt to manipulate them to your whims in response to perceived rejection. This is unhealthy and self defeating behavior. 
How to gracefully deal with rejection:https://www.google.com/amp/s/lifehacker.com/how-to-gracefully-deal-with-rejection-1818702428/amp
 It is so much easier said than done, to triumph  over ones defensiveness & insecurities; we all have them, and we all need to constantly take self inventory to keep them (and our response to them) in check. It’s not an easy task, but  it is worth it tenfold, and will ultimately make you a much better person.  

We all deserve happiness & inner peace. 

Summer of Self Love

For today’s blog, I would like to feature a particular individual.

Chidera Eggerue – AKA The Slumflower -@theslumflower (on Twitter) is the young female author of the book ‘What A Time To Be Alone

Her book is set to be “the ultimate guide for self-love and acceptance, something so many of us need”

In addition to her book she has several amazing standalone quotes & lectures and I’d like to share my favorites with you:

Favorite Quote:

“I aspire to be as terrifying as possible to men so that only the self-aware ones who are doing the work, can enjoy the wonder of my existence”

Favorite lecture:

The fear of solitude

Favorite article:

Saggy boobs matter!

https://www.elle.com/uk/life-and-culture/culture/news/a42206/chidera-eggerue-the-slumflower-saggy-boobs-matter/

Isn’t she amazing!?