Hello
class. For today’s lesson, we’ll be talking about people who are
obsessed w/judgment of others, slut shaming in particular, and how you
may as well wear a sign on your forehead that reads “I’m insecure” if
you do so http://tcat.tc/2iaRM5g
Since that particular article is about men who slut shame
…for women who slut shame other women = internalized misogyny (also a form of generalized insecurity)
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-bejeezus-out-me/201406/whats-really-behind-slut-shaming
If
you constantly judge/gossip about others but DON’T specifically “slut
shame” it’s no different. The thought pattern is one of desire to
overcompensate in lieu of self worth, to mask ones own weakness. This
stems from the same psychological root(s). This behavior is known as
moral superiority and/or superiority complex
“superiority complex rises from…repressed feelings of inferiority and lack of self-esteem”https://psychologenie.com/the-concept-of-superiority-complex-in-psychology
Once
you become self aware, and truly honest with yourself, you CAN tackle
your insecurity & curb the compulsion to judge others:http://thepositivitysolution.com/judging-others
But
it is so much more than that. Many people believe that judging others
is something you either do or don’t do in general; however, that is not
the case. Sometimes individuals are generally open minded but
particularly judgemental in specific situations, or in regard to
particular individuals .
When we respect ourselves, we’re more free and able to respect others: their personal limits, boundaries, etc.https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-respect-other-peoples-boundaries/
Maybe your judgments don’t manifest in the ways aforementioned? Have
you ever written a script in your head of what you think someone else’s
response to you should be? Have you ever felt upset (disappointed,
frustrated, resentful, etc) because you asked someone to do something
for/with you and they declined? Have you ever attempted to alter your
perception, to include the possibility that it has nothing to do with
them, and it’s actually about the fact that you’re not secure enough to
accept an answer that you didn’t want to hear?? “Expectations are premeditated resentments.” J.A.Johnson-PhD
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/cui-bono/201802/the-psychology-expectations%3Famp
Whether
it’s conscious or not, when you do not respect others decisions of what
to do with their own time/energy/feelings/bodies, when you treat them
differently because you feel “upset” they didn’t do as YOU would have
liked/imagined, it is an attempt to manipulate them to your whims in
response to perceived rejection. This is unhealthy and self defeating
behavior.
How to gracefully deal with rejection:https://www.google.com/amp/s/lifehacker.com/how-to-gracefully-deal-with-rejection-1818702428/amp
It
is so much easier said than done, to triumph over ones defensiveness
& insecurities; we all have them, and we all need to constantly take
self inventory to keep them (and our response to them) in check. It’s
not an easy task, but it is worth it tenfold, and will ultimately make
you a much better person. We all deserve happiness & inner peace.
