FAQ: Favorite childhood memory
In elementary school, around the holidays, we made gingerbread cookies from scratch in class. We had gingerbread dough leftover, and we were encouraged to take it home and make more goodies with our fam over the weekend.
My dad worked out of town a lot and I was primarily raised by my grandma and grandpa. My grandpa worked and my grandma took me me school everyday, picked me up after, fed me dinner, etc. As you can imagine, we were very close. I should add, my whole family has a prankster quality, for the record.
Ok, so back to the gingerbread dough…on the day that I brought it home, unusual to typical routine, grandma was at appt so grandpa picked me up…he looked at me and saw I was holding a ziplock bag with a brown squishy cylindrical object in it, and said, in his usual silly way “why ya carrying around a turd?” Then hatched a scheme.
Soon as we got home, he placed the “turd” on plastic wrap, down deep into their thick St. Augustine grass, then coached me on what to do next. Grandma arrived right on time, and grandpa queued me. Here I am apparently sitting on the front lawn playing with toys when I loudly exclaimed “this looks like a turd but it smells sweet” as I raised it to my mouth to take a nibble of the “turd” it was suddenly like a scene straight from an action movie.
Girl raises “turd” to mouth in slow motion, while grandma barrels over flower garden yelling “nooooooooo” and…(resume real time)…slaps my face so fucking hard I not only dropped the “turd” but even the bite I’d taken went flying out of my mouth from the sheer force of the slap.
Meanwhile I’m there in shock trying not to start crying, and my asshat grandpa is literally on the ground laughing. I know, I know, it’s fucked up, from the kids point of view, but in retrospect it was a damn good prank on my grandma. And it was made up to me later by way of sugary bribery, for the record.
So, there ya have it folks, my favorite childhood memory is of my grandparents and the day I got the shit slapped outta me (literally) lol –
Access ALL My content
Follow Me on social media
Text Me/Virtual Sessions
Buy individual clips
Order custom clips