Slut Shaming

Hello class. For today’s lesson, we’ll be talking about people who are obsessed w/judgment of others, slut shaming in particular, and how you may as well wear a sign on your forehead that reads “I’m insecure” if you do so http://tcat.tc/2iaRM5g 
Since that particular article is about men who slut shame
 …for women who slut shame other women = internalized misogyny (also a form of generalized insecurity)

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-bejeezus-out-me/201406/whats-really-behind-slut-shaming 
If you constantly judge/gossip about others but DON’T specifically “slut shame” it’s no different. The thought pattern is one of desire to overcompensate in lieu of self worth, to mask ones own weakness. This stems from the same psychological root(s). This behavior is known as moral superiority and/or superiority complex 
“superiority complex rises from…repressed feelings of inferiority and lack of self-esteem”https://psychologenie.com/the-concept-of-superiority-complex-in-psychology
Once you become self aware, and truly honest with yourself, you CAN tackle your insecurity & curb the compulsion to judge others:http://thepositivitysolution.com/judging-others
But it is so much more than that. Many people believe that judging others is something you either do or don’t do in general; however, that is not the case. Sometimes individuals are generally open minded but particularly judgemental in specific situations, or in regard to particular individuals . 
When we respect ourselves, we’re more free and able to respect others: their personal limits, boundaries, etc.https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-respect-other-peoples-boundaries/
Maybe your judgments don’t manifest in the ways aforementioned? Have you ever written a script in your head of what you think someone else’s response to you should be? Have you ever felt upset (disappointed, frustrated, resentful, etc) because you asked someone to do something for/with you and they declined? Have you ever attempted to alter your perception, to include the possibility that it has nothing to do with them, and it’s actually about the fact that you’re not secure enough to accept an answer that you didn’t want to hear?? “Expectations are premeditated resentments.” J.A.Johnson-PhD 
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/cui-bono/201802/the-psychology-expectations%3Famp
Whether it’s conscious or not, when you do not respect others decisions of what to do with their own time/energy/feelings/bodies, when you treat them differently because you feel “upset” they didn’t do as YOU would have liked/imagined, it is an attempt to manipulate them to your whims in response to perceived rejection. This is unhealthy and self defeating behavior. 
How to gracefully deal with rejection:https://www.google.com/amp/s/lifehacker.com/how-to-gracefully-deal-with-rejection-1818702428/amp
 It is so much easier said than done, to triumph  over ones defensiveness & insecurities; we all have them, and we all need to constantly take self inventory to keep them (and our response to them) in check. It’s not an easy task, but  it is worth it tenfold, and will ultimately make you a much better person.  We all deserve happiness & inner peace. 

Why/how did you get into feminism & female dominance?

Good question. Let’s start with a few facts. This is the general definition of emotional abuse via economic control of a subject:

This is a statistical fact on cis/hetero women experiencing more emotional abuse and specifically financial control w/in their relationships, than other groups…

Not only do we (women) experience a general wage gap, getting paid less at our jobs for the same work as men, even when the woman has more formal education the man usually gets paid more. As preposterous as that is in itself, we (women) then also then earn even less after we’ve had children…

Additionally:Women have the need for more doctors appts with less healthcare coverage available to us in general (just as 1 example, Viagra is covered by insurance companies, while birth control pills are often not covered). Despite the proven dangerous side effects of injectable and oral birth control, which can cause a lifetime of complications and harm to women at a biological level, and despite the risks associated with tubal (surgery to get ones “tubes ties”) and other procedures the female gender remains deemed as the one responsible for preventing stds/pregnancy within our relationships more often than notLet’s compare:vasectomy is 50% less cost and danger. Vasectomy is a one time permanent pregnancy prevention technique. Vasectomy is an outpatient procedure which requires no time off work and has zero risks or side effects besides 48hrs of mild discomfort. Guess how many men refuse? Guess how many relationships exist where the woman is instead taking years worth of medicines, with time off work for monthly doctors appointments, accruing thousands & thousands in lost wages and copays ?? I challenge you to research statistical information on birth control usage within heterosexual relationships. Next fact: women have general need for more retail purchases than men such as feminine hygiene products, skin products, hair products, make up, styling tools, finger/toenail products, we need to buy bras & purses & “extras” which society doesn’t generally expect of men, in order to be socially accepted.
while we’re the gender earning less, EVERYTHING we need is also more expensive than the same retail version which is made for men: https://axthepinktax.com/
We are oppressed from birth & forced into positions of inferiority most of our lives, like these examples of -even our own government- economically abusing us via repression of reaching true economic potential and having bodily autonomy.
There are numerous laws men have made about what women should/shouldn’t and can/can’t  do with their own bodies. Not a single law has ever been proposed governing mens bodies. Think about that.
Women are deliberately kept very scarce in high level positions w/in companies, especially fields of Science and Government, and this not for lack of qualified applicants but a form of control over us.Crime rates against women are astronomically higher than crimes against men in general. I could go on & on with stark comparisons of how women are stripped of equal opportunities by the patriarchy. WOMEN ARE GENERALLY EMOTIONALLY STRONGER THAN MEN & HAVE HIGHER THRESHOLDS FOR VARIOUS DISCOMFORTS,  AND CAPACITY FOR INGENUITY, SECONDARY TO THE REASONS AFOREMENTIONED. This is why I celebrate Goddess worship (female supremacy/female dominance) as forms of reparations which men can offer the women in their lives

Vavi’s suggested reading

Vavi’s suggested reading

THE VALUE OF TIME:
https://foreverjobless.com/the-value-of-time/

As pornography has increased in availability, sex crimes have decreased: via Scientist Magazine® https://t.co/yU8eYjepvF

VanyaVixen Interview
PT.1  https://t.co/QJcqnu4mS4
Randomly inserted note
Want some of My attention? Make yourself known by fav/comment & RT posts on Twitter @VanyaVixen

Email Me blog questions, article suggestions, respectful constructive reviews of My work, suggestions for new clips…
VanyaVixen@gmail.com

10 Reasons Porn is Actually Good for You

http://www.puckermob.com/relationships/relax-prudes-10-rasons-pornography-is-actually-good-for-you

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/sex/8995815/Why-theres-no-such-thing-as-sex-addiction.html

http://www.bustle.com/articles/93025-how-to-share-your-sexual-fantasy-with-your-partner-because-you-even-can-let-porn-or

#CFS Article: Chronic Fatigue Syndrome via @EverydayHealth https://t.co/E5yvSC6wha (connected to attached screenshot) ***

http://thesexpose.com/vanya-vixen-talks-about-her-new-site-and-her-creativity/

https://m.soundcloud.com/nathan-daugherty/vanya-vixen-interview

BlockNoireBBW Vanya Vixen @VanyaVixen Interview http://t.co/GJhag07PnI via @blocknoirebbw

http://couplescorner.biz/interviews/vanya_vixen/

Who are your favorite performers or celebrity crushes, and why?

Getting to know VaVi
Who are your favorite performers or celebrity crushes, and why? 

Whoooo coming from a performance art background, I’m too familiar with (and in awe of) too many to list! So I condensed my answer to 3 of My fave male performers:
Keanu Reeves 🥰He’s just an amazing person, as a whole, very deep and passionate; this YouTube bio says it all better than I ever could: 

15 Things You Didn’t Know About Keanu Reeves https://youtu.be/vkmBVus3DsY via @YouTube

Vanilla Ice

A lot of people only know Rob as Vanilla Ice, but like Keanu, he has unseen depth, in that he’s really brave, and I respect that. Not only has he faced adversity in his career and come back smiling but he’s been adventurous in trying  so many other things along the way: multi genres of music, many movies, reality/games shows, biking/racing at competition level, boxing, ice skating, bull riding, ballroom dancing… 

Elijah Wood

I grew up watching Elijah (as far back as “the good son” movie) he’s simply an amazing actor. But many people don’t realize behind his dramatic performances and general “nerd aesthetic” he is a really freaking hysterical guy. If you haven’t seen him in the Beastie Boys video or seen his series “Wilfred” you’re totally missing out 

autonomy vs insecurity

Hello class. For today’s lesson, we’ll be talking about people who are obsessed w/judgment of others, slut shaming in particular, and how you may as well wear a sign on your forehead that reads “I’m insecure” if you do so http://tcat.tc/2iaRM5g 
Since that particular article is about men who slut shame
 …for women who slut shame other women = internalized misogyny (also a form of generalized insecurity)

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-bejeezus-out-me/201406/whats-really-behind-slut-shaming 
If you constantly judge/gossip about others but DON’T specifically “slut shame” it’s no different. The thought pattern is one of desire to overcompensate in lieu of self worth, to mask ones own weakness. This stems from the same psychological root(s). This behavior is known as moral superiority and/or superiority complex 
“superiority complex rises from…repressed feelings of inferiority and lack of self-esteem”https://psychologenie.com/the-concept-of-superiority-complex-in-psychology
Once you become self aware, and truly honest with yourself, you CAN tackle your insecurity & curb the compulsion to judge others:http://thepositivitysolution.com/judging-others
But it is so much more than that. Many people believe that judging others is something you either do or don’t do in general; however, that is not the case. Sometimes individuals are generally open minded but particularly judgemental in specific situations, or in regard to particular individuals . 
When we respect ourselves, we’re more free and able to respect others: their personal limits, boundaries, etc.https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-respect-other-peoples-boundaries/
Maybe your judgments don’t manifest in the ways aforementioned? Have you ever written a script in your head of what you think someone else’s response to you should be? Have you ever felt upset (disappointed, frustrated, resentful, etc) because you asked someone to do something for/with you and they declined? Have you ever attempted to alter your perception, to include the possibility that it has nothing to do with them, and it’s actually about the fact that you’re not secure enough to accept an answer that you didn’t want to hear?? “Expectations are premeditated resentments.” J.A.Johnson-PhD 
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/cui-bono/201802/the-psychology-expectations%3Famp
Whether it’s conscious or not, when you do not respect others decisions of what to do with their own time/energy/feelings/bodies, when you treat them differently because you feel “upset” they didn’t do as YOU would have liked/imagined, it is an attempt to manipulate them to your whims in response to perceived rejection. This is unhealthy and self defeating behavior. 
How to gracefully deal with rejection:https://www.google.com/amp/s/lifehacker.com/how-to-gracefully-deal-with-rejection-1818702428/amp
 It is so much easier said than done, to triumph  over ones defensiveness & insecurities; we all have them, and we all need to constantly take self inventory to keep them (and our response to them) in check. It’s not an easy task, but  it is worth it tenfold, and will ultimately make you a much better person.  

We all deserve happiness & inner peace. 

What’s Going On With Your Health

 I’ve seen social media posts about you being on bedrest??


To make a long story short as possible, I found out last year I’d been exposed long term to a water damaged rental unit that had developed toxic mold. Most healthy people experience some sinus issues, repair the water damage/leaks, remove the mold, and recover. But as most of you know [the reason I am in this industry/work from home] I have a disease called Myalgic Encephalomyelitis with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME/cfs) which affects my immune system, among other things

I have therefore devolved biotoxin illness (I.E. I am having a reaction to the mycotoxins). It’s much more serious than most people tend to understand. while I know you mean well, please stop asking if I’m better yet. No, I’m not “better” because my primary diagnosis (ME/cfs) is a chronic illness for which no cure currently exists. I’m not capable of “getting  better” from ME/cfs
…and I’ve ZERO chance of recovery from this new biotoxin illness until after receiving extensive specialized medical care. Unfortunately I’ll be in and out of “flares” and various specialists ofcs for many months to come guys  
Why does this make me homebound / bedbound is usually the next question. Because I’ve developed new symptoms [in addition to the existing ME/cfs symptoms] the biotoxin response has exacerbated cardiac conditions and I’ve developed recurring non-epileptic seizures any time I even sort of “push” myself.
My cardiac condition is called  postural orthostatic tachycardia, meaning any and every time I am standing / moving about my heart is racing, exhausting me immediately, additionally  putting me at risk for stroke, cardiac arrest, etc. Look at my heart rate readings as I stand up vs sit down and you’ll see what I mean(Clip attached)

So yeah, I’m not lazy and/or it’s not that I don’t love my job and want to work more, I just CANT right now. I am terribly disappointed by all of this to say the very least. I assure you that I am doing all I can here and I encourage my true fans to recommend their buddies  join VanyaVixen.com and/or browse my individual fetish clips for sale via clips4sale.com/87355 or order a custom video if you have eclectic fetish/sexy ideas which entail little to no physical exertion (I.E. seated/lying solo clips JOI for example) I’m really hurting this year and I need all the support I can get!!!!!
The good news is that I *CAN* eventually recover from biotoxin illness and return to my baseline health, and state of being, prior to having been exposed to toxins and developing this biotoxin response. Please hang in there with me. I’m not going down without a fight  


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Buy individual clips
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www.iwantclips.com/store/19024

Favorite Childhood Memory

FAQ: Favorite childhood memory

In elementary school, around the holidays, we made gingerbread cookies from scratch in class. We had gingerbread dough leftover, and  we were encouraged to take it home and make more goodies with our fam over the weekend.
My dad worked out of town a lot and I was primarily raised by my grandma and grandpa. My grandpa worked and my grandma took me me school everyday, picked me up after, fed me dinner, etc. As you can imagine, we were very close. I should add, my whole family has a prankster quality, for the record.
Ok, so back to the gingerbread dough…on the day that I brought it home, unusual to typical routine, grandma was at appt so grandpa picked me up…he looked at me and saw I was holding a ziplock bag with a brown squishy cylindrical object in it, and said, in his usual silly way “why ya carrying around a turd?” Then hatched a scheme.
Soon as we got home, he placed the “turd” on plastic wrap,  down deep into their thick St. Augustine grass, then coached me on what to do next. Grandma arrived right on time, and grandpa queued me. Here I am apparently sitting on the front lawn playing with toys when I loudly exclaimed “this looks like a turd but it smells sweet” as I raised it to my mouth to take a nibble of the “turd”  it was suddenly like a scene straight from an action movie.
Girl raises “turd” to mouth in slow motion, while grandma barrels over flower garden yelling “nooooooooo” and…(resume real time)…slaps my face so fucking hard I not only dropped the “turd” but even the bite I’d taken went flying out of my mouth from the sheer force of the slap.
Meanwhile I’m there in shock trying not to start crying, and my asshat grandpa is literally on the ground laughing. I know, I know, it’s fucked up, from the kids point of view, but in retrospect it was a damn good prank on my grandma. And it was made up to me later by way of sugary bribery, for the record.
So, there ya have it folks, my favorite childhood memory is of my grandparents and the day I got the shit slapped outta me (literally) lol  –
Access ALL My content
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Follow Me on social media
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www.Sextpanther.com/vanyavixen

Buy individual clips
www.Clips4sale.com/store/87355

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Get to Know Vavi

Who are your favorite performers or celebrity crushes, and why?


Whoooo coming from a performance art background, I’m too familiar with (and in awe of) too many to list! So I condensed my answer to 3 of My fave male performers:

Keanu Reeves 🥰He’s just an amazing person, as a whole, very deep and passionate; this YouTube bio says it all better than I ever could:

15 Things You Didn’t Know About Keanu Reeves https://youtu.be/vkmBVus3DsY via @YouTube

Vanilla Ice

A lot of people only know Rob as Vanilla Ice, but like Keanu, he has unseen depth, in that he’s really brave, and I respect that. Not only has he faced adversity in his career and come back smiling but he’s been adventurous in trying  so many other things along the way: multi genres of music, many movies, reality/games shows, biking/racing at competition level, boxing, ice skating, bull riding, ballroom dancing…

Elijah Wood

I grew up watching Elijah (as far back as “the good son” movie) he’s simply an amazing actor. But many people don’t realize behind his dramatic performances and general “nerd aesthetic” he is a really freaking hysterical guy. If you haven’t seen him in the Beastie Boys video or seen his series “Wilfred” you’re totally missing out

Access ALL My content

www.VanyaVixen.com

Follow Me on social media

www.Twitter.com/vanyavixen

www.instagram.com/vanyavixen

Text Me/Virtual Sessions

www.Sextpanther.com/vanyavixen

Buy individual clips

www.Clips4sale.com/store/87355

Order custom clips

www.iwantclips.com/store/19024

Thanksgiving Day

Today I am thankful for authenticity and empathy. This is why I am so confident of displaying my vulnerabilities with the audience, so to speak, and why I make special point to express gratitude for those who have shown me compassion and appreciation, especially in 2018, when I really needed it most. THANK YOU ��

You know, tons of people have asked me, the past few years, how and why I got into the adult entertainment industry. I usually avoid the question or placate the asker to be honest. More recently I’ve given partial truth and stated I didn’t want to talk about it much. My reasoning was based in knowledge of psychology, marketing, and personal experience with discrimination. But I underestimated the volume of people who, for whatever reason, felt they “needed” to know and filled in the blanks with assumptions, for lack of solid answers.

Here’s the whole truth finally:
Listen, this is not new to me, being chronically ill. I knew my diagnosis years beforehand, and I knew my primary disease Myalgic Encephalomyelitis was (1) progressive (2)incurable. I knew I was no longer going to be physically capable of utilizing any of my degrees nor working in my fields of profession. I needed a back up plan.

But WHY this particular industry?
Because I also knew my limitations and amount of income needed. I wasn’t going to be able to work outside the home, nor be approved for disability.

If it’s a legit disability WHY aren’t you on SSDI?Although M.E. has scientific based evidence and a ‘Quality Of Life Score’ lower than hiv, certain cancers and multiple scleroses(meaning living with M.E. negatively impacts patients health and lives more than those aforementioned ailments does) there were not ENOUGH peer reviewed studies on the disease to convince the medical community as a whole. MANY doctors to this day have never studied this disease, nor even heard of it ?!? Some doctors assume the physical symptoms are manifestation of psychological illness. This has since been disproven and the CDC website formally changed it’s definition of the disease. I was still denied disability again anyway.

I usually get a plethora of follow-up questions: well then why didn’t you try this, why didn’t you go there, why didn’t you do that instead… ? It seems to be every ones instinct to immediately doubt me and make unflattering assumptions. And this is not something specific to me as an individual but how MANY chronically ill/disabled people are treated and also how MANY single moms are treated, especially those who choose to be part of the adult industry for survival. I am answering not because I care terribly about opinions of me, not because I feel the need to prove myself, but to bring light to the way that people in my situation are treated.

Oh, you said “survival” that must mean you don’t actually enjoy it? Incorrect. I ENJOY myself/my appearance, helping other women my age feel confident and sexy in their own skin (I’m 44 by the way.) and I enjoy the ability to work from home, make my own schedule, etc. I enjoy surviving and not being homeless yes. I do. Don’t you??? As a single mom w/o a support system my resources were severely limited and this was the best option for me.

Why was that the best option for you? Because I’m an only child, all my family members are deceased now. My ex-husband had stolen savings, moved out of state to unknown location, is thousands in arrears on child support, my credit shot/didn’t qualify for a loan. No one else to help, and no other way to get income.

Since my medical condition has worsened, my appearance and working styles have changed, and I have become more open about my health issues A LOT of people have unfollowed me, or stopped interacting with me/muted me on social media. A lot of people have gossiped. And even more questions have arisen. Very very many people are judges, doubters & haters of anyone with disabilities (what’s worse is that many of them are completely clueless about the extent of their own ableism) they struggle to accept dualities “you can’t be disabled and also sexy” and there was an emotional reaction to hearing the word “disease” from someone who claimed to be sexy.

Many have accused me of being a hypochondriac, liar, faker, lazy, pity seeker, etc. I haven’t gained a damn thing from ANY of this. I have almost lost everything as a matter of fact. I’ve zero ulterior motive in being forth right ?!

When I started obviously losing weight, it got even worse. When I was down to 125lb I got hate mail ranging from “for God’s sake eat more please” to “why don’t you just hurry up and die already” I was accused of having an eating disorder and also being a drug addict, while my coworkers of the same height to weight ratio got complimented on their appearance.

So NOW you see the main reasons why I did not divulge my diagnosis right out of the gate. I would have been judged, discriminators would have denied me work w/o getting to know me first, and I wouldn’t have been able to succeed.

I deliberately did mainstream porn as SOON as I decided to enter the industry while I was still healthy enough to travel and pull long hours- so as to get my name out and build a following before I got worse (and no my followers are not bought I have that many because I was published on multi pro platforms).

Once I built a following I ‘retired’ from mainstream immediately. I then had some traffic to drive to my amateur clip store which I opened couple years ago clips4sale.com/87355
The following year I launched my paid membership site VanyaVixen.com it’s updated weekly and I continue to work from home publishing solo content. So now you know. It was all strategic.

The multi mini hiatuses 2017-2018 were secondary to my health rapidly worsening. I then discovered toxic mold in the walls of our rental home and learned that I had developed CIRS as result (biotoxin illness) I went into flare state again. In September when it was time to renew our Landlord added lease addendum making tenants responsible for their own maintenance/refusing mold removal and we had to make an abrupt unplanned move in October which sent me into a full crash. I am finally beginning to recover from the crash and hope to return to pre flare state SOON. I have ALOT of great stuff planned for 2019. Obviously I am rebranding but let it be known I am definitely NOT quitting the industry.

Yes, I am still producing new content and have just resumed taking custom orders. I also offer text sessions and sale of worn garments/select personal items. I NEED my fans/followers now to help me out! You know I NEVER ever “beg” for things but to help my relaunch I need you to promote me, like and RT my posts, be more interactive on my social media pages, most importantly invest in me! Buy a text session or do a naughty picture exchange via sextpanther.com/vanyavixen , buy a clip clips4sale.com/87355 , join my website VanyaVixen.com or just send me a tip!!! I also offer “rewards” for those who gift me items from my Amazon wishlist. Seriously guys, this year and especially this recent move, liked to have fucking killed me. It’s essentially like I’m starting over again in December. It’s scary and it’s a struggle but I am also excited to “re-emerge” finally and fully. For those precious few who have stuck with me throughout the trials and tribulations, I am so utterly thankful for your support!

In closing, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Thanks for taking the time to read it. I hope you all have a magnificent holiday season and I am SO looking forward to entertaining you and tantalizing you in the years to come!

VaVi~